Seldom do I hear folk speak of this publicly. But it AIN'T EASY outchea for trans/gender queer/gender nonconforming folk and dating. And it focuses primarily on our bodies and when those bodies don't conform to gender. When boobs meet beard meet chiseled bodies meet vagina meet hairy chests/belly, folk struggle. When boobs meet penis meets the Apple of Adam, folk are in a frenzy.
HOWZENEVA, we are cute and intriguing as da phuk because gender phukery is intriguing...but none of that seems to impact years of gender socialization. Years of rigid binaries. Straight women find themselves attracted to transmasculine folk but don't know WTF to do with it because they don't know how it will impact their own sexuality. We're too much this. Not enough that.
MANY cis-men are attracted to transwomen. Ask Eddie Murphy, Mister Cee, Teddy P, and Tevin Campbell. We are both repulsive and intriguing. And the result is a vomiting of all this angst onto the bodies of trans and GNC people. Resulting in many folk feeling undesirable. When really they are VERY desired but others are unable to box their desires of us.
This isn't a pity party. This is reality. Dating someone whose very existence flips a construct so rigid as gender on its head takes a special someone to walk in and with that. Affirmingly. Not I can deal with it, but I AFFIRM AND LOVE IT! It is sexy to me. Flip side, I get it. I understand how something as deep and ingrained as this can be difficult. Ideally folk would allow themselves the freedom to like who they like. But...
Zerandrian S. Morris
I am a social and cultural critic.